One day, my entire world changed in the fifth grade. My life changed the day I met Shelly. I found my life’s purpose that day I met Shelly.
Almost every day in my life, recently, I am reminded of one of three salient stories which have had a tremendously profound impact on my life. I am not a tremendously spiritual person, but there has got to be some reason why I am now constantly thinking of several stories of my youth which defined my character, opened my heart, and brought me so much inner peace and joy that I felt as if my world was at my fingertips.
One such story was when I was in the 5th and 6th grades. I volunteered for one of my daily recesses to venture down to the Resource Room to where Shelly was waiting for me. Shelly was a classmate that was severely physically and developmentally disabled and challenged, as well as being partially blind. Remind you, I was 10 years old. And here I was getting one of life’s lessons slammed right in my face. What on God’s green earth was I doing? What was I going to do with Shelly for 45 minutes, 5 days a week? Why was I giving up one of my prized daily recesses outside on the playground with my other classmates, trying to impress the girls or play kickball?
Little did I know that this so-called “sacrifice” I was making would turn out to be one of the biggest gifts I would ever receive in my life. And there was no bow attached. Only a beating heart. That 16th day of September 1977, when I laid eyes on Shelly, I felt nothing but compassion and purpose. I was there for a reason: to learn some life lessons. And, for the next two years, Shelly taught me lessons that would carry me for the remainder of my life. Shelly made me laugh until my gut split open – or so it felt. She made me feel good because she told me how much of a friend, I was to her because she did not have many. She taught me that simply being present, showing up for someone else, and sharing in their pain, their joys, the sufferings, and their gut-splitting laughter can shed a light on the inner light in us all that will never dim, unless we fail to keep it lit.
Shelly taught me so much about being kind, about being simply happy, being grateful for what we have, and giving back to those that give forward. But Shelly taught me something more, something (I strongly believe) is the reason I have been reminded recently of my time with Shelly…
The lesson is this: Our purpose is found when we show up for someone else!
I never, ever, heard Shelly complain. Not once did I ever hear her say “why me?” Here was this tiny, overweight, severely physically deformed girl of ten years old, in arm crutches that did not work, and could not see out of one eye, and barely the other – and I never heard her say anything negative. Not once! Instead, Shelly taught me the grace of forgiving those that made fun of her because she was different, ignored her because she was not “one of them”, or simply paid her no attention. She taught me that when you see the suffering in someone else that is your chance to put your own to good use. She taught me that whatever pain she ever felt only had power over her if she gave it such a purpose (to do so). She taught me that self-compassion is a gift that once you give it and feel it in yourself, you will multiply your love for others magnanimously.
Shelly taught me that there is no quit in those that fight for a chance to love more, to laugh more, to simply live more.
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