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Mental illness has robbed me of so much.  It robbed me of my marriage, of being a father to my children (for sixteen years), of my financial well-being, my future, my dignity, my self-worth, my self-motivation, and self-esteem.  I could not escape it’s grasp. Mental illness was a death-knell, calling my name, causing me to continuously spiral downward.

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I would wake every morning with negative thoughts.  I would pine for my children.  And, I would be brought to tears.  I lacked the faith to believe that I had any hope in the future and look forward to anything in my life.  I hated myself.  I hated my life.  Where was I going?  What did I believe in?  What were my values?  Why did the negative thinking pervade me?  I wasted ten years of my life.

I have learned, through life coaching, that sitting each morning and setting an intention for the day has become so important.  Learning to pay attention to my thoughts has allowed me to process through the negativity and realize that my thoughts are just that:  Thoughts.  They do not have to rule my psyche and mindset.  I can just be with them and let them roll on over me and through me, like a gently, slow moving stream.  I can process them in a whole new way when I decide what I want the intention for my day to be and look like.

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It has allowed me to see a better me, to see what I believe as true and magnificent, to remind myself that I am a being of divine creation, and I deserve to value myself as a being that matters in this world.  It  has reminded me that I belong in this world, to make a meaningful contribution, and to see my past as just that: My past.  I cannot control the past, but by setting a purpose for the day and for my life, I can control what I do and how I behave in the future.

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I view illness as a challenge, not as the overwhelming beast that it was for so long.  I can overcome that challenge and choose to direct my thoughts toward what is good while valuing those thoughts that support me in a constant and consistent way.  Now it is my time to utilize my life experiences to make a difference in the lives of others.  I hope you will join me.

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